September 15, 2010
Yesterday I got a pleasantly unexpected call from my mom about going to photograph Margaret on Wednesday- (today) at her house in Oak Cliff, Dallas- and going to photograph the ladies at Marie’s this Saturday. Margaret came home last week from the knee rehab center she was staying at and my mom wanted to go visit and check on her. Margaret is in her early 80’s, so her knee is undergoing an extensive recovery and she needs extra help getting around. Margaret didn’t know I would be there so she was really excited when she saw both of us! She is moving around so well for where she should be in the healing process. She told us about having a bad time at the rehab/health care center. She doesn’t always make complete sense when she talks about things so we didn’t understand the extent of what went on while she was in rehab.
Mom and I were able to visit with Margaret for an hour at her house before going to eat lunch (at Golden Corral), and a trip to Walmart to help her buy a few things.
More than anything today was a big observation day for me. I learned a lot about Margaret, her state of mental and physical health, and the struggles that arise with the progression of age, especially in later age (80’s and up).
Margaret always stresses how God has been working in her life- that He has healed her so quickly and that everyday is a miracle from Him. She is overall not too concerned with herself, but continually praying for people, sending out sympathy cards to people suffering loss and is insistent on going to church this upcoming Sunday even though it will be hard for her to drive and to be out for so long.
Evident things she struggles with:
· Accepting help from others, even when she needs it. My mom continually asked her if she needed a hand getting in and out of the car and Margaret kept getting frustrated, saying “I can do things on my own. I don’t need help from people, I can get around on my own.” My mom also wanted to pay for Margs’ groceries, and she insisted on buying her own dog food at least. I think she feels a little threatened by people helping her so much.
· Her memory is beginning to wander a little bit. She keeps forgetting to answer her phone, and she forgets that peoples numbers are in her cell phone. Most of the numbers she needs have been in the cell phone for a long time, but she forgets how to use it and says she doesn’t have anyone’s number.
· There were a few instances on our Walmart trip when I could tell she really struggled to remember things. It makes her feel embarrassed when she forgets things and she started to get pretty cranky after our trip.
o Before we went on the trip she specifically went through her wallet to bring the bank card she needed in order to pay for groceries. When she insisted on paying for her dog food herself, she pulled out the card and had brought a Home Depot credit card, so of course we helped her pay. She was so baffled as to why she had brought that card, and kept talking about it for ten minutes.
o She had a hard time remembering what brand of hair dye she uses, so my mom had to help her look for it and ask her one by one which brand it was.
o Margaret also forgot her keys in the house so we had to go in the house through the unlocked garage after we got back from Walmart.
· Keeping people from taking advantage of her.
o She had a horrible time at one of her health care facilities. The lady taking care of her spoke almost no English, would not fix her food unless Margaret asked many times and mostly left her alone in her room all day when she was supposed to be caring for her and making sure she had adequate nutrition. When JoAnn and Marie finally got in contact with Margaret they took her out of that healthcare facility and refused to pay. Sometimes it is hard to follow the story when Margaret is telling it so I am still confused as to how she got stuck in such a bad situation.
o There is a lady that goes to church with Margaret who keeps calling her about cleaning Margaret’s house because she wants to help out Margaret and needs a job to support her family of 6. Margaret told her she doesn’t need the help and can’t afford to pay her. The lady keeps calling and drives thirty minutes (from her house to Margaret’s) to knock on her door and keep asking. Seems like a waste of gas money for someone who really needs a job. Margaret can even see that this woman was hoping to take advantage of her because of her age and health situation.
· Love of her dog.
Margaret has a dog, named Doc, who she treats like a person. She calls him son and gets mad at him when he doesn’t listen to her. She buys more expensive food for him than she does for herself. Doc is really all she has when she is home by herself. He is very protective of her and hates to be alone. I feel like he is a replacement for all of her losses. She had several children early in life and all of them have died. She doesn’t dwell on it, when people are around at least, because she has Doc and her great support system in JoAnn and Marie, and many other people that care for her.
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